If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You smell like stripper and shame
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
