he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
