He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
