Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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