I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
