If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
