Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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