birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
