great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
