your parents love me but you hate me
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
