highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
