dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
