my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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