just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
