dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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