I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she looked like the before picture.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
