jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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