i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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