fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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