I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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