I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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