I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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