sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
