You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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