Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
