The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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