I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
