Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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