just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
