Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
