i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
My pussy is not your playground.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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