Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
