That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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