Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If I die, sorry about rent.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
