Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
