Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
