Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
