She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
