a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
