this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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