It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
