Its about making memories worth repressing
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
