You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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