New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
