she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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