i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
