I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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