I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
