How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
