Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
