wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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