How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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